Where I’ve Been, Where I’m At Now

Hello all, it’s sure been a quick minute. I know I disappeared into thin air a of months ago, but I’ve been feeling the itch to get back on the blogging grind. My life feels like it could use a little something.

When I left college to go home for the summer, I’m not really sure what happened with my blogging habits. I brainstormed a hefty list of post ideas to write in my down time, but whenever I sat down to try to write them, I got bored quickly or didn’t have anything interesting to write about. Could have had something to do with a new puppy at home….. but we can’t blame anything on her 😉

So, I successfully read ONE of the books that I had aimed to read over the summer months. ONE! How sad. I’m disappointed in myself. I kept thinking like “Yeah it’s summer I have nothing to do, why else won’t I be able to read these four books? Easy peasy.” Obviously not. When I wasn’t working or working out, I was most likely laying on the couch or playing with Lulu (puppy mentioned before). However, I did get one completed and I’ll briefly discuss my thoughts. Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty is a MUST READ if you love modern mom-dramas. The three main characters are so easy to relate to and made it kind of fun to imagine yourself in their position. Honestly, I finished it fairly quickly just because it was so entertaining to read and kept me engaged the entire time.

Related to what I mentioned before about how I never really had any free time, even in the summer, I’ve had a revelation recently. I’m stressed – about aboslutely nothing. I feel lazy and underacheiving when I’m not doing something, so I never let myself chill. I wake up in the morning and I’m instantly getting my things together so I can get sh*t done during the day. Even if there’s no sh*t to be done! I’m at the transition point in my life where I’m halfway through college and starting to think about the future, like my career, what kind of job I want or where I want to live. My business classmates and I are right in the heart of interview season for internships next summer. It’s like I cannot stop thinking about it, no matter what I am doing (funny – just got an email notification about a new internship posted on the university job site). My roommates probably want to tape my mouth shut with how much I talk about it and I really won’t blame them if they do it.

I am way too worried about the long-term that I forget to enjoy the moment. The free time that I have is spent thinking about upcoming assignments, projects or interviews and not enjoying the time that I have at the moment to spend with my friends or my boyfriend. I have noticed that I have become a little obsessed with being an adult, which sounds weird to say. I want to feel like I have my life sorted out. It creates cognitive dissonance (vocab word brownie points) when I want it and then realize that I am actually far from it. And then it all circles back to where I began . . . STRESSED.

I have been focusing this past week about setting aside time each night to do something that I enjoy to do and something that relaxes me. Whether it’s mindlessly watching Netflix, reading a book or writing a few pages, anything is better than sitting at my desk looking at my computer screen and think about “all” the things I have to do before I could ever consider myself successful. Throw on a face mask and boom – I am the epitome of self love and improvement. Go me! Speaking of face masks, I tried a new brand that I bought from Ulta called Formula 10.0.6, and I like what I’ve used so far. One of them actually bubbles and foams when it’s on your face! It makes you’re skin feel amazing and smooth. I definitely recommend trying it to all the face mask enthusists who happen to read this.

The goal is to continue blogging on a regular occasion. Most likely will not be on a regular schedule, but I do not plan on going ghost for another four months. Blogging provides me with the opportunity to get my thoughts out of my head and out into the world, which then clears up some room for better thoughts to enter it. I like to tell myself that someone enjoys reading my posts and it sparks some interest in their life, but if not I will continue to love talking to myself 🙂 Until next time, xo

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